Category Archives: Dreams and Visions

A ZUIHITSU FOR THE WINTER SOLSTICE

A ZUIHITSU  FOR THE WINTER SOLSTICE

Once, the Christmas cards were organic: potato prints, pasted trees, stamps sealed with spit. Friends who wrote letters summing up their activities had many activities. The list of friends was long. On occasion, an elderly uncle was deleted or a distance grew too great. This year I noticed many changes. Some addresses are longer: unit names, apartment numbers. We all send simpler cards and the list is shorter. More occasions. Greater distances.

Many years ago, I attended a little church that has since been converted to apartments. One Christmas Eve, when the church was lit only by candles and smelled like balsam and frankincense, a friend with a beautiful soprano voice sang “How Far is it to Bethlehem?” unaccompanied. Last spring, her funeral was an occasion. 

I have never abided in a field by night, watching a flock of sheep. I have been struggling to think of an equivalent: weeding the garden, perhaps, but I've never done that in the dark. I’ve decided that the best I can come up with is ordinary work, work that is somewhat tedious and common, but necessary. Picking up the living room, washing dishes, changing sheets, hanging clothes—that sort of thing.

Five animals that I know are passing through the scrap of woods on the north and east side of our house: gray fox, common raccoon, American black bear, deer, bobcat.  Seventeen birds that I know are in the woods, or in the back yard:  red-bellied woodpecker, hairy woodpecker, downy woodpecker, pileated woodpecker, white-breasted nuthatch, goldfinch, junco, chickadee, mourning dove, blue jay, raven, house finch, cardinal, tufted titmouse, crow, barred owl, and the great horned owl who was calling the other night, when I brought the dog outside in the moonlight. 

I have never been serenaded by the Heavenly Host. But now and then something, perhaps somewhat angelic, has broken through the darkness, or the tedium:  An oriole singing by the roadside, two owls on silent wings swooping close over my head, a coyote watching me from the edge of the woods, two deer running toward me in the fog. It’s interesting how often those experiences involve animals. Perhaps all of them do.

In The Hogfather by Terry Pratchett, one of my favorite Christmas books, Death (who has been substituting for a Santa Claus figure) says, “HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. . . YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.  (“So we can believe the big ones?” asks Death's granddaughter Susan.). . .YES. JUSTICE, MERCY, DUTY, THAT SORT OF THING.”

I find it interesting that the sign that a savior has been born to the shephers is a baby in a manger. Really? The story is so familiar and common, and even tedious, that it’s hard to remember what a very strange thing that would be.




HEDGES ARE EDGES

HEDGES ARE EDGES

Come, dance around the edge of Odd —
the only place you can find god
(or gods) or elves or unicorns.
Try dancing on these gloomy morns
when all the world is grim and hot
and all we long to do seems not
so possible. 
Come, find the magic beneath the trees 
where birds sing carols with the bees,
and fairies twine flowers through the hedges
and do odd dances around the edges.



Another one for Emily Anderson and her wonderful bluebird fairies.

BUTTERFLY EFFECT

BUTTERFLY EFFECT

This one from the milkweed growing against

all odds on the edge of my driveway or

one of those rescued from a predator

in Polly’s patch. Remember the story

that one might change the weather of the world?

Maybe not the movement of its wings.

Maybe just the vision: that brave orange

and black animal, fragile against a leaf,

blown across the sky, what it’s like to change

that way, and who knows who, seeing it, will change?

OPEN STUDIO POEM #17

 

Open Studio Poem #17

disco

lickety-split

splendid

magenta

 

Fairies shelter behind the disco ball

hung in the portal to the kingdom of odd. 

After sunset, they emerge lickety-split,

and all night they dance through the city, 

their magenta wings flashing splendid

in the lights of streets, and traffic, and stars.

 

 

The other occupants of the Open Studio are out to get me, as you can see. But I know where that disco ball hangs, and I know the fairies, too.

THE HAWK

THE HAWK

Every day I walk with the yellow dog who understands human language but can not yet speak. Every day, or nearly every day, we saw the hawk in the dead elm trees between the hay fields or on the power line. In early spring, two hawks circled the fields. In late summer, one young hawk called hunger from the elms while one adult watched from the wire. The dog was disturbed by the hawk’s wheeling or calling, and she raised the orange ridge on her back and growled and barked. And in November, when the hay in the fields was cut short and the living oaks and the dead elms stood as outlines against the sky, on a November morning when the yellow dog and I walked down the road with the mountains on the east and the hills on the west, I found the hawk on the ground, beneath the wire, not far from the elms. The hawk’s red tail was spread, the dark and speckled wings were folded, claws curled, the sharp eyes flat, the neck broken. What shall we do? I cried, and the yellow dog answered. —Carry the hawk to the row of elms and lay it down there. And weep awhile, and I will weep with you. But only for awhile, for you shall see.— So I lifted the hawk and carried it close to my heart and I walked with the dog to where the grasses and goldenrod stalks grew tall under the trees. And there I placed the hawk. And the dog said —Good—. And for awhile we wept. And that night, the hawk came to me while I slept. Her red tail was spread acorss the Earth and her wings opened east and west as far as I could see. Her great head touched the sun. And she spoke. —You see, she said, who I am. Now you see. Your eyes open to my flight, your ears open to my cry, your heart open to my life.— And with a shout the hawk rose up, then up, beyond the sun. And when I woke, the yellow dog was curled beside me and looked at me through her brown eyes, and said —Yes. That’s how it is.—

MAGI GOING HOME

MAGI, GOING HOME
 

 

 Go home another way, 
 it told us in a dream. 
 Another way?
 

 What would an angel 
 know about ways? 
 We had to sell the camels 
 

 and the slaves. Another way 
 meant bad roads, no roads. 
 We were not accustomed 
 

 to walk, but walk we did 
 till we bought a donkey. 
 It was old and lame.
 

 We rode in turns. We were not 
 accustomed to taking turns, 
 nor to buying food ourselves. 
 

 Now and then we begged,
 and more than once 
 we slept in stables, in the straw—
 

 the only lodgings we could find 
 after we were robbed of everything. 
 But that’s another tale. 

OPEN STUDIO POEM #10

OPEN STUDIO POEM #10
 

 riff-raff
 heart
 glue
 synchronicity
 

 

 SYNCHRONICITY
 

 I dream of unmasked riff-raff.
 Anxiety is collaging my heart:
 scraps torn from memory,
 the flattened faces of my friends,
 a quarter of my granddaughter’s life.
 Will I ever have glue enough
 to paste it together?
 

 Emergency.
 Emergence.
 Emerge.
 Resurge.