Number Six: An Ultimatum
Characters:
Carol, a Good Witch
Betsy, a Bad Witch
Hansel and Gretel, non-speaking
Setting: The inside of a small cottage. The witches sit at a table, drinking tea.
CAROL
All I’m saying, Betsy, is that you’d best be careful. One thing leads to another, if you don’t watch out.
BETSY
But frightening children is so much fun, Carol. You know that.
CAROL
There’s a big difference between lurking in the forest and cackling at the kids and luring them into a cottage and threatening to eat them, is all I’m saying.
BETSY
Oh come on. I’d never eat them. Children are so. . stringy. If I were to eat anybody, it would be an alderman.
CAROL
What do you mean, if you were to eat anybody? Have you seriously considered it?
BETSY
Well yes. Haven’t you? It’s part of the lore, after all. Baba Yaga and so forth.
CAROL
I think you’ll find, my dear, that the Baba Yaga did not eat people. It was rumored that she did. It was part of the reputation that she maintained. But she was a good witch. She helped people.
BETSY
Helped people. Bah. What kind of witching is that?
CAROL
The right kind. Scare the bejeezus out of them and help them. That’s what we do.
BETSY
I don’t know about that.
CAROL
I’m worried about you, Betsy. I truly am. That gingerbread cottage is one thing, but the cage outside, and the big oven. . .
BETSY
All right, Carol. I’ll level with you. I’m tired of being a good witch. I’m tired of playing a role. I want to know what it’s like to be bad. My whole life I’ve been a goody two-shoes. Haven’t you ever wanterd to be bad? Really bad?
CAROL
No. No I haven’t. Scary, sure. That’s fun. But bad? Hurting people? No.
BETSY
So you are a goody two-shoes.
CAROL
Of course not. But I would never act on my worst imaginings.
BETSY
Have you ever imagined eating children?
CAROL
No. I have not.
BETSY
What are your worst imaginings then?
CAROL
Using the full force of my wrath on people who hurt children.
BETSY
But you wouldn’t eat them?
CAROL
No. And I’m not going to tell you what I’ve imagined doing to them. But Betsy—if you go through with this plan of yours and actually hurt some children, you will find out.
BETSY
I will, eh? And what will you do to me? If you’re a sissy “good witch” you don’t know what wrath is like.
CAROL
Oh, that’s what you think. Beware, Betsy, beware. It’s been building up inside me for a hundred years, this wrath, this raging at all the injustice on the earth and in the world. If it is unleashed it won’t be pretty. And believe me, it will be unleashed on you, if need be.
BETSY
Well, I don’t believe it. My power against yours? No contest. I’m off.
(Stands.)
I have to finish the gingerbread house. I won’t invite you to the feast.
CAROL
(Stands.)
One more chance, Betsy. If you don’t stop it, now, you will be consumed by the very fire you prepare.
(Betsy exits, cackling.)
CAROL
(Calling.)
Gretel, Hansel.
(The children enter.)
Go to the cottage. Remember all that I have taught you. Go with my protection. All will be well.
(The children bow, and exit.)
(Carol picks up her broomstick and follows.)
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