Who are the ministers of the Church?
Thin green fish, transparent but for their dull black eyes, who swim their lives away between the tentacles of a giant squid. A willing ballerina with a broken shoe. A group of angry citizens bearing signs protesting the right of witches to sing canticles after dark
What is the ministry of the laity?
Not to go on pilgrimages. Their bodies will do it for them—they are traveling all the time.
What is the ministry of a bishop?
To stare at a wall until it grows eyes and stares back, or at least until the cat intervenes.
What is the ministry of a priest or presbyter?
Not to be introspective. Introspection makes no sense. It’s boring and tedious. No more can be mined from that bony hollow.
What is the ministry of a deacon?
To cut toenails in such a fashion that the new growth is quite flexible, almost like a kind of prehensile appendage.
What is the duty of all Christians?
To carve totem poles, build cathedrals, cross the Pole by air.